Video calling for grandparents: how to make the first call work

By Deniz Akkaya, Marketing Manager· Published 28 September 2026

When a first video call goes wrong, it often isn't the technology itself. More often the two ends were set up differently, or nobody practised answering. This guide covers the four things that decide it: the device, the app, the first call, and what to do when the picture or sound goes. Set it up once, and the grandchildren can call too.

Most people over 65 already go online in some way. In the UK, Age UK's 2026 analysis of ELSA data classifies 1.6 million over-65s in England as digitally included and 1.4 million as digitally excluded. The largest group, 7.9 million, sits somewhere in the middle: online for some things, often with help. In the US, Pew Research Center's 2025 data shows that 90% of adults 65 and older use the internet, and AARP's 2025 tech trends survey found that 62% of adults 50 and older own a tablet. This guide is about making the first video call one of the things that works.

We'll talk about your mum here. It works the same for your dad, or for anyone you're helping.

What you need for a video call

• A device with a camera, microphone and speaker: a tablet, smartphone or laptop. A bigger screen makes faces easier to see, and the device she already knows usually beats a new one.

• An internet connection. Home Wi-Fi is easiest. Apple notes that FaceTime works over Wi-Fi or mobile data, and that data charges may apply.

• The same service at both ends. The common apps don't talk to each other, so you can't reach FaceTime from WhatsApp.

• Permission for the camera and microphone. The app asks the first time it needs them. Say no, and the picture stays black or the sound stays silent.

• A charger within reach, and a fixed spot for the device, ideally on a stand rather than in her hand.

Which app suits your devices

Choose by the devices you both actually have, not by the app you like best.

• If you both have Apple devices, use FaceTime. It comes with every iPhone and iPad, and the call rings like a phone call.

• If your devices are mixed and you both have a mobile phone, use WhatsApp. To call, open your chat with her and tap the video call button.

• If she has an iPad but no mobile phone, FaceTime still works, as long as you have an Apple device too. If you don't, set up Google Meet calling instead.

• For Google Meet calls, you both need a Google Account and the latest version of the Meet app. If her side can't receive calls yet, Meet tells you so and offers to send a link instead.

• If you only need a planned chat, a link is enough. Anyone with an up-to-date iPhone, iPad or Mac can create a FaceTime link, and she can join from the latest Chrome or Edge on an Android phone or Windows computer. A link doesn't ring, though. She has to open it at the agreed time.

One test decides it: can she answer without looking for anything first? If the honest answer is "she'd have to find the email with the link", pick a service that rings.

The first call, step by step

Allow twenty minutes. Not because it's hard, but because you both want to see, calmly, where each button is.

1. Agree the app, a time and a backup plan: if the video call doesn't work, you'll ring on the phone. She only needs to remember when you'll call, and who's calling.

2. Get the device ready. Charge it, check the Wi-Fi, then install and sign in to the app. If the tablet is new, set it up first: account, screen lock and a tidy home screen.

3. Allow the camera and microphone when the app asks. Then set the volume together, so she knows how loud a call will be.

4. Make a test call from the next room while you're still in the house. Do it twice: once with the screen unlocked, once with it locked and dark. The answer button can look different on a locked screen, so it's worth seeing both before the first real call.

5. Practise hanging up and calling back. She ends one call and starts one herself. Save your number as a favourite on her device, or pin your chat to the top, so calling back is one tap, not a search.

Can't be there in person? Ring her on the landline while she goes through the steps, then hang up and try the video call.

When the picture or sound goes wrong

Work through one thing at a time. Change several settings at once and you won't know what fixed it.

• You can't hear her. Check your volume and mute switch, and whether wireless headphones are still connected somewhere in a drawer. Still silent? Check her side: her microphone may be muted in the app.

• She can't hear you. Check whether your microphone is muted in the app, or whether a case covers it. Then check the microphone permission in Settings and restart the call.

• No picture. The camera may be switched off in the app, or a case or finger may be covering the lens. Check the camera permission and restart the device.

• The picture freezes. Move closer to the router, or switch the video off and keep talking. Sound needs less of the connection than video.

• The call isn't noticed. The device may be on silent or in Do Not Disturb, or notifications may be off for the app. Turn the ringtone and notifications on for that app, then test again.

If nothing works after two tries, ring her on the phone. That's the backup plan you agreed, not a failure. The video call can wait until tomorrow.

Small things that help after the first call

• Keep a regular slot, such as Thursday at six. Nobody has to wonder whether they're interrupting.

• Put the light in front of her, not behind. A window at her back turns her face into a silhouette.

• Send photos between calls. A picture from the weekend gives the next call something to talk about.

• Agree one rule for unexpected calls: nothing unplanned has to be answered, and she never shares her screen or installs an app because a caller asks. Age UK describes the scam where a caller says a device has a virus and asks you to download software that is actually spyware. Its advice is to contact the organisation on a number you know, and to use a different phone to do it, because scammers can keep the line open after you hang up. In the US, the Federal Trade Commission is clear that legitimate tech companies won't contact you by phone, email, or text message to tell you there's a problem with your computer. If a call feels off, she hangs up and talks to someone she trusts, starting with you.

• If what's missing is a steady rhythm of contact, our guide to spotting and easing loneliness in later life has ideas for building one.

When starting the call is the hard part

Some families set everything up carefully and then find the hurdle was never a setting. It was finding the right name and pressing the right button. A device built around voice can take those steps away. Amara Home, which we build in Berlin, is one example: your mum says who she'd like to see and the video call starts, with no address book to search and no login before each call. The family sends photos through the Amara app.

If she's already comfortable with her tablet, stick with it. Familiar beats new. If you're choosing a device from scratch, our guide on which tablet to choose for Grandma walks through what matters.

Image note: the photographs on this page were generated with AI. They do not show real people.